Your Army Boyfriend and Your Love

I received a message in Facebook from a girl who read my answer to one of the questions on Quora about marrying an army boyfriend. She asked me to help her to understand the situation and her expectations. I have replied to her based on my life experiences.

This was her question:

I had always desired to marry one and even had a boyfriend but we never lasted long it was because he never loved me. But I still wants to marry one, mam the issue is after my last relationship I broke and found myself as emotionally too weak, we often had fight for not being in conversation much, lack of concern and care from his side, he never made effort to make the relationship work and had attitude of accepting his fault.Afterwards seeing my condition my friends asked me not to look for a man from army asked I.need emotional support and they believe that this kind of behaviour is common for all of them, which made mean wonder should I marry them, r they all so cold, I do understand the problem of their being busy but r they all so cold I know it's little awkward to ask stranger such questions but still if u could help me.

I am giving the screenshots below. I thought I can share this with my readers. It could help someone else who are also in the same kind of situation in their life.

Luv u all

Uma

Freelancer

3 Easy Steps to Transform Your Body and Mind

I was asked to reply a question by a Quora member.

The question was  How should one motivate oneself for physical transformation when it seems really tough?

I have shared a short para here. You can go here to read my full reply.

DO NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS - Do not worry about the people who look at you while you walk or jog. When you look at others, chances are more to get demotivated. Concentrate on YOUR body and YOUR mind.

People WILL make fun of you, even if you look good. I have come across guys who laughed at me for jogging early in the morning though I was lean. But I do exercises to keep me fit and feel great. There were comments like," I don't even know why she is running." Another comment," She is wasting her energy." One more comment," She is growing old. Why should she continue jogging even now."  And then this happened.

Read More


Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Is This Why your husband beat you?

One of my best friends live away from her husband. The only complaint that she has against him is that he beats her. He beats her kids. He is a very angry and a very short tempered person. Otherwise he is a very nice man. All he want from her and her kids is to listen to his words, either they like it or not.

I know most of the women out there face this problem with their partners. Sometimes it would be the other partner. The wife would be determined to see that her words are heard and listened to. I guess it depends on the dominating personality.

I had an opportunity to stay with this friend for a week. I observed that she didn't bother to recycle the left over foods that laid in the fridge for two days. I asked her about this.

She said,"Oh, every morning I only think about giving fresh foods to my kids. So I keep forgetting about it."

I asked her,"What would you do now that the left overs are rotten."

She replied,"I will dispose it."

I asked her,"Does your husband approve of  wasting food now and then?"

She looked at me quietly for a full minute. I said,"Maybe this is one of the many reasons he beat you. You shouldn't waste food like this. Food is money. Nobody likes wasting food."

She said,"It is not that I do it in purpose. I want my kids to eat fresh food everyday."

I said,"You will have to plan the meals accordingly, so that you will have no (very little) left overs."

I took one look at the shelves in the kitchen. She said,"My husband used to arrange them neatly for me once in a while. But I don't follow the same arrangement. And I ask him once in three months to do the arrangement again." She paused thoughtfully.

I said,"And."

She repled,"He used to yell at me to not to make him work in the kitchen just because I find it difficult to work."

She continued,"I think I understand SOME of the reasons for his beatings. I should learn to be a better wife to him before expecting him to be a better husband to me."

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

The Best Way to Build Better Relationships

I am the eldest of 5 children. So I have grown up to become a more mature person now when compared with my younger days. I am proud to say that my siblings, as well as most of my friends, don’t think twice before approaching me for any suggestions or whenever they are challenged by the situations in life. If you are the first female kid with more than two kids after you, in your family, you will agree with me that when your siblings grow up, they look up to you for all the help.

I have learned to stay calm and quiet when I know that am right and others are wrong. The learning process was a hard one. But am happy that I learned the hardest of lessons in my life. Now, I have become a calmer, more matured and more enlightened person. 

During the learning process, I found myself being tested and taunted. There were instances when my silence was taken as acceptance of my wrong, when I believed that I was right. My quietness was considered as a weakness when I didn't want to show that they are the weaker ones in reality. My quietness was misunderstood that I didn't care about their opinion on the issue. But finally, when the cloud cleared everything got cleared between me and them. They understood me well. It WILL take time, a week, a month or maybe years. 

People change. Their thoughts change. Their actions change. They WILL understand you better when they grow and when they understand their own self. Until then you need to be patient and quiet.

Patience and quietness are the most important traits to build ANY struggling relationship, stronger. But trust me keeping quiet is THE BEST way to solve a burning issue. It couldn’t be solved then and there. But it would eventually get solved at the right time. And YOU will be the winner.

Here is an example:

I soak the clothes of my little nephews and my brother's dresses in a detergent before loading them in the washing machine. Both my nephews and my brother never get tired of playing football and cricket. So I soak their clothes in the detergent for fifteen minutes. It is me who do the soaking, loading and drying the clothes. I do the soaking early morning as soon as I wake up. So that I can load it in the washing machine after I brush my teeth and had my coffee. By the time I get ready to go to work, the washing would be over.

That particular day, I got up late. So, I requested my youngest sister to put the soaked clothes inside the washing machine while I was getting ready to leave to my office. I instructed her to load the heavy clothes first before loading the lightweight clothes. I told her that she has to put one cotton white pant and two dhotis first. She started loading the lightweight clothes first that were on top of the heavy ones. I said, “That’s ok. You can now put the pant and the dhotis and push them below the light ones.” She took the pant and put it inside the washing machine. She then said,” Sis, there is just one Dhoti.”

I was still getting ready and said,” No, there are two Dhotis. I soaked 2”

She again said,” Nope, there is just 1.”

I knew she was either feeling lazy to dig deeper into the tub or she wants to just complete loading as soon as possible.

If you were me, how could you have reacted?

1.    Yelled at her saying,” You are a lazy girl! Why don’t you search for it? It was me that soaked the clothes. Won’t I know what I did?”

OR

2.    Yelled at her saying, “Come on! Do you think that I am blind? Do you think that I am telling lies to you? I should have got up early this morning to do it on my own. I know that this is what will happen when I ask for help from someone else.”

OR

3.   Stood by her side, patted at her back, made her bend lower to search and say,” Now that you are a little bit closer to the tub, you will find the Dhoti.”  Stood near her until she found the Dhoti and gave her a taunting gesture to make her feel bad?

OR

4.    Would you just quietly continue getting ready to work and wait for her to find the second Dhoti?

Let us analyze what would happen when you chose the  

Option 1:

Firstly, you wasted your time saying all those negative words about her.

Secondly, you called her names - ‘lazy girl’ and ‘not good at searching’

Thirdly, you spoke high of yourself – ‘I did it’ and so ‘I know it’

The Result:

You have lost a few seconds of your prep time. You have lost your nerves and energy by uttering those negative words. You have spread all negative energies around you.

It was YOU who got affected due to your outburst and not her.

Option 2:

Firstly, you wasted much of your time uttering more words in a harsher manner.

Secondly, you said that she was ‘blind’ and ‘telling lies’.

Thirdly, you wanted her to feel bad for doing it less efficiently than what you would do.

The Result:

You have lost a few seconds of your prep time. You have lost much of your nerves and energy by uttering those harsher words. You have spread all negative energies around you and around her.

It was YOU as well as HER got affected due to your outburst.

Option 3:

Firstly, you wasted your most precious, the TIME.

Secondly, you manhandled her.

Thirdly, you made her feel worse.

The Result:

You have lost a few minutes of your prep time. You have lost your nerves and mind by saying those words and pushing her to bend down. You have spread heat and negative energies around you and her that is going to linger for quite some time.

The day is going to be very bad for YOU and for HER.

Option 4:

Firstly, you didn’t waste a single second of your prep time.

Secondly, you have kept your cool. You didn’t lose your nerves and mind.
Thirdly, you knew that you were right and she was wrong. So, you waited for her to find the Dhoti on her own. And when she finds it, she will know that she was wrong. She would naturally realize the reason for your quietness so she would come back to you and say, “Sorry Sis. It was down there under all those light weight clothes. I have loaded it.”

The Result:

You were all set to leave your home for work by the time she completes the loading. Both you and your sister were happy. There were positive energies around you both and a good understanding relationship is developing between the siblings. Both your day and her day is going to be good for sure.

If you asked me what was my reaction, it was Option4.

But, I have to admit that I have chosen all the options before finding that ONLY Option 4 is the best choice to have a healthy relationship and build a better understanding between me and others. 

If you come across such situations in life, please chose Option4. Trust me, people WILL find your quietness misleading. But eventually, when the truth comes out, they WILL come back to you to apologize. All that shouting and throwing tantrums WILL only make more damage to the relationship. It might even go to the extent of breaking the relationship. So please try to calm your nerves and stay quiet.

Trust me life is neither about making money nor about building homes. Life is all about building and nurturing relationships. 

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Weekend Fun!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Once-in-a-lifetime Experience

Chennai Floods 2015 is the one of the most talked about topics in India. And if you have been following the news and updates in Social Media, you could have known that it left many people homeless.

I feel so sad for those who have lost their loved ones. I also feel sad for those who have lost their precious belongings and their home. When compared with them, I am in a much better position to manage life after floods.Though water was upto hip level inside the house, we were able to save few of our belongings. Some dresses, dinning table, most of the furniture, TV et al had to be disposed. Luckily I could save my laptop, but not my desktops. Scanner and Printer, need to be dried up under the sun. I am so grateful I could save the lives of my family members.



Cleaning wasn't very easy. I am so happy that my siblings and nephews are healthy enough to clean the entire house as well as the utensils. This is how it looks now.



Thank you so much if you were one of those who helped people affected by the floods. If not for you, we would be helpless.

I believe that this flood reminded us again that we all are ONE BIG FAMILY.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

SPAM MAILS! RUN!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Soul Mate!

We all have greater expectations in life, in the official as well as in the personal front. Most of the times, we end up getting whatever we don't aim for. We still keep moving on striving to get what we wish and in the process some times, we get drifted like the boat in a sea storm.

Turning back and looking at the things that has happened in my life in the past ten years, it looks like a fairy tale.  I lived life differently in those ten years which I have not even dreamt of , before 2004.

Somewhere deep inside,  the search goes on and on, silently, not towards materialistic comfort, but towards a soul mate. That is what it is called as, if I am right. The search does not end that easily, it goes on and on.  It rests, may be when your life reaches the end of the road.

The wave of search travels across the borders. Find a few hearts. Then it thinks it has really found one until it realises after  a few months or years that its not the one what it looked for and then move on.

In this process there are heart breaks, sleepless nights, sorrowful days with tears rolling down and so on. Relationships are so powerful for an emotional person. It reduces the gleam in his eyes and increases the speed of ageing.

But we don't give up that easily, especially the ones who want to fight with life bravely. They keep moving on. If one door is closed, another door opens, always. Which really happens, when the eyes and other senses are kept open.

Every encounter seems to be real and long lasting but it is not. When the time comes to  move on, when the break happens, it leaves the heart with a deep scar. The heart rejoice again when it find the next soul mate, until it faces another heart break.

What do they, the soul mate, need and what does the heart that ended with this soul mate need, is always a puzzle.  The answer is yet to be found. But the beginning always looks very bright like a bright sunshine after a heavy downpour. The heart leaps in joy. But then the clouds of un certainity brings in darkness soon and the play comes to a sudden death.

Once you have started the journey of soul searching, then there is no turning back. You keep moving from one relationship to another like a migrating bird. Be in the place until the season changes and then move on to the next place. There are some native birds which do not move from place to place. They stick to a single place. Make compromises for their living.

Marriages are no longer a binding force for us, the soul searchers. We are not animals. We are not human either. We try to find a peace of mind, love, affection, care, togetherness, romance, soul partner, motherly touches etc.,  from some where or other. And that results in extra marital relationships with more complex life patterns.


Vijayan
Friend of Uma

( just a narration of what happened in my life)

Image courtesy: keawpiko from freedigitalphotos.net

A Priest's Humor!

There is an Aiyappan Temple next to my house. The priest used to give a speech to his followers everyday evening to a small group of devotees that gather at the temple. He uses a microphone. So that those who can't come to the temple can listen to his speech right from their houses to get enlightened on spirituality.

Few days back I happened to be at the open terrace of my house while he was giving his speech. I could hear him clearly. He was talking about the things that are offered to God by the devotees. I didn't understand how can he even take this topic to talk when the Almighty accepts whatever is offered to him with love.

He started like this. "Have you seen how the sweets and savories that are offered to God look like? I see the sweets and savories that are offered to God every day in this temple. And I see most of them are not well made."

Huh! Wasn't the sweets & savories meant for GOD and NOT for the priest!

And then he said,"Some of the kozhukattais doesn't even look like kozhukattais."

Now, this sounded more interesting to me.

He continued,"I find them having different sizes and shapes but not of kozhukattais."

I walked very near to the parapet wall to get a glimpse of the audience. But the roof was so tightly covered that I couldn't see either the priest or the devotees.

He said,"They also have holes on them."

This time, I smiled.

He then said,"They look exactly like the blouses that modern day ladies wear."

I didn't hear the audience laughing loud. But the priest enjoyed his own humor.

WHAT! WHAT was he talking about? Was he commenting on the kozhukattais or the ladies that come to the temple wearing such blouses or the ladies that he see on the road every day?

HOW could THIS speech enlighten the listeners on Spirituality?!!

May God bless him!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Image courtesy: Go Dakshin

Are You Sick? Do Not Consult a Pharmacist!

I am sure you will never go to a pharmacist for your next health consultation, if you are one among many who do that to avoid paying doctor fees, after reading this incident.

My neighbor had a cute dog that was the love of the whole neighborhood. Few days before, the dog fell sick. Our neighbor went to the nearby local ayurvedic pharmacist and asked for some medicine that could cure the dog. The pharmacist gave her some medicine. And my neighbor gave the medicine to the dog in the night. The next day morning wasn't a good one for the entire neighborhood. The dead dog had to be buried inside the compound wall of our neighbor. Only after a few neighbors insisted, did she reveal the name of the medicine and the pharmacist.

When the pharmacist was confronted, he accepted that he made a mistake. He said he gave the medicine that was meant for Cows.

I have seen people asking the pharmacist to suggest SOME medicine that can cure their stomach ache/ head ache/ fever/ severe cold etc. And they promptly buy the medicine that he suggest and go home. I have also seen persons asking for another alternative medicine because the one that the pharmacist suggested for them yesterday wasn't much helpful. Isn't this bad for health, in the longer run?

Lesson learned from my neighbor's experience - Pharmacists are NOT doctors. Be sensible! Be safe!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Life's Lessons!

Few years back, when the rest of my family had an argument with my father, he hurled filthy words at us. We were all so annoyed that we decided to not to do any favor for him. Because we thought he was not grateful for all the help he receive from us. He is 86 years old now.

So, the next day morning, while I was gathering clothes to load the washing machine, he brought his shirts and dhotis to me. Asked me,"Can you take my clothes also?".

I replied,"Wash them yourself." He returned to his room calmly.

After a few days, he left us, to stay in another house that he has built, five streets away. The situation at home turned around and I had to move in with my dad to help my youngest sister who moved in with him for some personal reasons, away from her husband. She has two sons, one  is 7 years old and another is 8 months old baby.

I go to visit my mom twice a week as well as to wash the clothes. Dad didn't buy a washing machine here. He had a maid to help him but fired her because she didn't follow his instructions.

Now, just because am staying with my dad and just because am enjoying his facilities in this house, I HAVE to be thankful to him. So, how can I show my gratitude? I have taken the responsibility of paying some bills. What else can I do for him? Wash his clothes? Yes! Definitely!

Now a days, whenever I go to my mom's house with all our clothes, I go to my dad's room voluntarily and ask him for his clothes that are to be washed. The first time when I asked him , he refused to give his clothes and said,"Let's see later. Not now."

The second time when I asked him, he said,"There are too many."

I said,"It's ok dad. Just give it to me."

He gave me four dhotis, three shirts, one bed sheet and more. :)

While I was loading the clothes in the washing machine at my mom's place, I thought about the twists and turns of life that keep teaching us lessons. I shared my thoughts with my younger sister, who is the sweet girl of dad's. She said,"True Sis! We ought to do our duty to our family members, even if we have differences of opinion. Because we all are inter-dependent and that is why we are a FAMILY. I have learned this through my own experience with my husband. I did exactly the same to my husband and later I realised my mistake. All we need is a balanced mind."

She also added,"But dad hasn't mentioned this to me till date. What a nice man he is!" Indeed, he is! Its been two months since I moved in with him.

Life is a great teacher. We all need to pause for a second to listen and learn from our own experiences. Have a good day!

Luv u all

Uma
Freelancer

Social Responsibility: What is it? - Part2

I live in a place called Sankar Nagar, Pammal in Chennai. It is the place where the population is growing steadily. Both the commercial as well as the residential real estate is thriving in this place. This place is promoted and developed by, Appaswamy Real Estate , a very successful real estate developer in the industry.

Way back in 1984, when we started living here, this place was surrounded by bushes and trees. It was so good to walk around the trees and bushes in the afternoons after 3pm. The breeze was cool. We didn't have to close the windows and doors to keep the dust away. There was literally no noise and air pollution. Now the concrete jungle has replaced the greenery. The inhabitants have made the place more inhospitable.

The other day while I was jogging in the street, I saw an elderly person emptying the dustbin in a rain water canal opposite to his house. I stopped and asked him,"Sir, don't you use the Exnora Service?. He looked at me puzzled. And then he smiled at me after a second and said,"No. I just throw the wastage here." I said,"You should use it, Sir. You can not keep your surroundings so dirty and the materials that you are dumping inside the water canal would only block the flow of the water during rainy season." He smiled at me and walked away. He repeated the same the next day also. I just looked at him and didn't say anything. He pretended that he didn't see me at all.

I thought people should be made aware of their own responsibility to maintain a better living condition before complaining about the maintenance of the surroundings by the government civic bodies. Now, I know that we should strictly make laws to prevent them from dumping the wastages in their own surroundings, for their own benefits. I guess it worked in the rain water harvesting project. Government announced that the electricity connection would be disconnected if the rain water harvesting is not done within the stipulated period of time.

So what should be the punishment given to those who dump the wastage on the streets and in the water canals? I would like to know your thoughts. Please post in the comments. Thanks!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Mommies Woes

As told by my youngest sister - mother of a son who is studying in second grade.

I went to pick up my son from the school yesterday evening. And this interesting incident happened.

Mommy No.1 - My son told me that the teacher asked him to complete the assignment of pasting three pictures from the categories of trees, creepers and herbs yesterday evening itself to submit today morning. I found it very difficult to get the pictures within such a short notice.

Mommy No.2 - My son told me that the teacher asked to paste  just Trees!!!!!?

Mom No.1 - Oh! But I read that in my son's home-work diary!

Son of Mom No.1 who was playing around these two mommies- I wrote it down when the teacher announced that in the class yesterday.

Mom No.1 - And he said that he has to paste three photos of each categories in one sheet of the activity notebook!

Mom No.2 - What! My son told me that he has to paste one tree in each sheets of the notebook. And that is what I have done for him.

Both Mom No.1 & Mom No. 2 were confused about the exact requirement of the assignment.

And here entered Mommy No.3 - Hey mommies!

Mom No.2 - What pictures have you chosen for your son to paste in the activity notebook?

Mom No.3 - Huh! What are you talking about? I didn't read any such activity in his home-work diary! My son didn't say anything about that.

Mom No.1 & Mom No.2 LOLed.

The school bell rang. The teacher and the kids walked out of the school together. Mom No.2 approached the teacher and asked,"What exactly was the activity assignment?"

The teacher replied,"They can choose any pictures of plants and trees to paste in the activity notebook."

I heard this as soon as the teacher finished her sentence from both Mom No.2 and Mom No.3 in chorus - but my son, didn't, just trees, anything.

The teacher replied,"I just gave them an example by mentioning trees, creepers and herbs."

Mom No.2 - "I have just pasted the pictures of Trees but one in each paper of the entire notebook"

Teacher said,"What!!!??"

Mom No.3 said,"My son didn't say anything. So I didn't do anything in his activity notebook."

Teacher said,"That's ok. You can paste the pictures today. I have returned his activity notebook to
him"

She turned towards Mom No.2 and said,"I saw your son's notebook. Don't worry. Let me see how can I help you."

Mommy No.1 is me.

We both laughed at this incident.

This is what I inferred and I told my sister, that your son have heard about Trees, Creepers and Herbs earlier, even before the teacher mentioned it in the class. So he understood the words and wrote them in the home-work diary. Son of Mom No.2 didn't understand the other two words. So he didn't mention that to his mother. Son of Mom No.3 didn't understand all the three words. So he didn't mention anything about that assignment at all.

I heard from my younger sister, mother of a 5th grader, that the teachers of upto 4th grade are supposed to write the details of home-work in the diaries of all the students. Or the teachers should write it on the class board and ask the students to copy it in their home-work diary.

TEACHERS are you listening!!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Image courtesy: iosphere from freedigitalphotos.net

15 Reasons To Say No To Marriage!

I suggest and recommend that you don't even think about marriage, if you

1. Don't know why your elders are asking you to get married
2. Don't know why you want to get married
3. Are looking for ONLY sex in a marriage
4. Want to make way to your younger siblings. It has always been that way in our Indian culture. Elders first. 
5. Have failed in your love life and looking for a get away
6. Want to get away from some one who is behind you for many years and begging you for your love.
7. Are not sure what your sexual orientation is.
8. Don't have a job that could support you and your wife, financially
9. Are not ready yet, to accept your partner into your inner circle
10. Are not matured enough to accept your partner for what he/she is
11. Don't possess a healthy body and mind to carry the responsibilities of your family 
12. Don't have the guts to stand by and fight for your partner's space/place within your family
13. Are looking for a house keeping assistant.
14. Are in a relationship
15. Can't mend your ways to save the marriage

Is there another reason that you could add to this list. for not saying YES for a marriage proposal?

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Photo by farconville

Married But Complicated

40% of my male friends are in a relationship or seeing some one or seeing many. 60% of my friends are married! Of them 40% would like to declare their relationship status as MBC - Married But Complicated.

When I ventured into the private territory of marital relationship of the latter 40% of friends, I found that almost all of them wanted the relationship status to be declared as complicated. Hushhhhhhhhhhh! Don;t ask me to point out them in my Facebook friends list. Their peace will go for a toss.

I always thought that parents who have kids at home are having the most happiest relationship between them.  I was curious to know why would they want to declare their status as "Married But Complicated". So I asked these questions to them in a very casual conversations. I found that all of them are happy with their marriage because they have a son or a daughter out of the marital relationship. But confessed they would feel more happier to be a single parent than living with a 'oh-not-so-understanding' partner.

Conversation between me and my male friend

Yours Truly: Hey, Long time no see, huh!
Male Friend: Yeah, Sorry. Couldn't stay in touch with you as often as I would love to.

Y.T.: That's ok. I understand.
M.F.: Yeah! You are a very understanding friend of mine. I have hardly met anybody as understanding as you are. (Honestly, I didn't make this)

Y.T.: (Smiles) Thanks. So, How are you?
M.F.: Am doing good.

Y.T.: How is your wife and kid?
F.F.: Both are good.

Y.T.: How is work?
F.F.: Work is keeping me busy most of the days. But its okay. I spend time at home on weekends. But not all the weekends, anyway.

Y.T.: Otherwise I hope things are better at home (throw a look at him questioningly)
F.F.: Yeah! Things are ooooookayyyyyyy! But could have been better if my wife understand me better. She don't even want to listen to my side of the story, almost ALL the time!

Y.T.: I guess you are married for 16years. And you think you guys still don't have a better understanding!!?
F.F.: Was it just 16years? Oh my gosh! Why do I feel like I have lived with her for 50 years??!!

Y.T.: What do you mean?
F.F.: Life is not so good at home. My weekday's evenings are hell and weekends are even worse. I get no time to sleep peacefully, even on weekends. I get no time to talk or visit my friends.

Conversation between me and a female friend

Yours Truly: Hi, How are you doing?

Female Friend: Oh! Am good. You tell me, how are you doing? Looking much younger, huh? (I could see jealousy in her eyes)

Y.T.: I am great. Yeah, I look younger compared to you, because I color my hair and work out. I have no kids. You have a son who is doing his engineering. How is his studies?

F.F. :Studies are ok. He can manage.

Y.T.: How is your husband?

F.F.: He is good too. How is yours?

Y.T.: He is good. How is life?

F.F.: Good to see my son growing. Am proud of him that he is active in sports as well. But sad that he is acquiring the characters of his dad.

Y.T.: Like?

F.F.: Very lazy. He sleeps on Sundays till 12.00noon. Won't take bath on weekends, unless we expect any guests. Won't help me on my house chores. Won't go out to buy things for home. Started having girl friends. Talks on phone and 'Whatsapp'ing all day and night. Just like his Dad! (This was told in an angry tone)

Y.T.: May be you have to tell him that you are growing old, you need some help at home and outside.

F.F.: Yeah! What would I do, if father and son sleep on the same bed?

Conversation between you and me

You: What about you, Uma?
Y.T.: Oh! No. Not me. My relationship status is HMBS.

My 6 years old nephew's obsession with automobiles - reflects my mood! :)

You: Huh!!?
Y.T.: Happily Married But Single. LOL!

I know, I can clearly understand if you are feeling jealous of me.

Have fun people!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Photo by photostock | freedigitalphotos.net

Summer Activities At Home

Managing kids during Summer Holidays is very very difficult. I know all the parents and care-takers would agree with me. Keeping them engaged during holidays is a tough task, unless the elders or parents or the kids themselves are more creative.

I am so blessed with little nephews and niece because they don't bother us when we give them the drawing materials like clean notebooks, slates, chalk pieces, pencils, crayons etc

They all love drawing and painting, on the paper as well as on the computer. They use MS Paint to give life to their imagination, on the computer

Yesterday, I felt so proud of my 6year old nephew, when I saw this little art work that he has created using the pens, pencils, chalk pieces, water tubes, flying disks, erasers, Rubik cube pieces and whatever he could get hold on to.

Sharing the art work with the world. If you stumble upon this blog at any time, then please share some of your kid's creative art work here. Let us make a scrap book. :)

If this art work inspired you or your kids to try something new, then please share the art work here, in the comments below. Thanks.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Choosing and Testing Leggings

I was bored of wearing the traditional Salwar Kameez and wanted to change my style. So, have started wearing some short tops and leggings, from this year, 2015.

My thought was that thick and tight leggings, would last longer. So I bought this black legging from a mall in Velachery five months back. I liked it so much and wanted to keep it for my best tops, as the black bottom goes well with most of the colored tops. I found the leggings in this sorry state after the third use. Trust me, I hand washed as per the instructions that is given in the tag.

The hole can be seen in the thigh section

There are many small holes that I tried to take photos using my iPhone 4. But they were not so clearly visible in the images.So, I didn't post them here.

Another view of the hole

Washing Instructions

This shows that a tight thick leggings doesn't suit a fast woman like myself. Yeah, I walk fast. Climb up steps in the subways running two steps at a time. Climb down the steps faster than others. So, am a very active person. And I I found that I feel very comfortable with short tops and trousers than with the traditional dresses like Salwar Kameez. I don't wear sarees. I suggest you don't buy thick, tight leggings if you are an active woman like me. :)

Next time when I went to buy some dresses for myself, I bought the more stretchable, thin leggings, a blue one for my bluish green top. This time I made a point to make a note of the brand of the legging. I selected this legging from the "Attract" company. I was so impressed with the different kind of stitches that I bought three leggings. I thought these stitches are made so, so that this would withstand the wear and tears. Along with this blue, I bought brown and black leggings in the month of January 2015. Am yet to try the black legging. But I have used the blue and brown leggings many times. 

There were no washing instructions on this leggings. So, I wanted to find out which washing suits this company's leggings. I hand washed the brown legging and machine washed the blue legging. Look at the blue legging in spite of the special stitching.

Threads from the stitches

So, this means, even 'Attract" leggings have to be hand washed. "Attract" leggings suits my faster lifestyle, though. They were flexible enough to withstand my run, hop and jump. :)

I will have to try other brand leggings to see whether they can be machine washed as well as whether they would be flexible enough to withstand my fast walk, run and the hop on the stairs.I will keep you updated with the new brands. 

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

A Small Break to Build Stronger Bonds

I am a very open minded, friendly and social person. So, its quite natural to jump on any chance to hang out with friends. I love to spend as much time as possible with friends with similar interests. While I was running my Cyber Cafe, friends kept visiting me whenever they found time. I closed my cafe in 2011.

How would you feel if you meet your long lost dear friend, after many years? Happy and excited, right?  A few minutes conversation on the road would make us more happier than spending an hour on a dinner night. Memories would rush through our mind and we would start seeing movies in our thoughts.

This is what happened when I met my two dear friends on a short break. While we were still single without any responsibilities, we spent hours together sitting and chatting and hanging out. We wanted to compensate for all those missing moments, now.

After I joined this engineering design organization, I couldn't find much time to spend with any of my friends. I hardly visited my friends who live in the same city of mine, Namma Chennai. I know most of them are disappointed with me due to this. So when one of my long time friend who got transferred to another city called me to inform me about his visit to Chennai for three days, I made up my mind to not to miss this chance to meet him. I didn't meet him when he visited Chennai, twice, earlier. The more the merrier. So, I invited him to visit one of our mutual friend's home for dinner. This dinner date with the other friend was pending for a long long time.

Friends For Life - Reunion. The kitchen help, yours truly and the Super Chef ;)

Chappathi with Paneer Butter Masala

Victory for him, he made the dough for chappati after getting the instructions from his mom from Trivandram

Here is our Super Chef from Varanasi, who made the yummy Chappati.
The dough was so watery that he had to make the chappati pieces thicker than the normal

It was a great time to make up for all the years we were apart. Our Super Chef had his own stories of life in Varanasi. Our kitchen help, a marketing guy, had his own stories of his clients and family. Though it was only a short break for all of us, it did help us to build the friendship stronger.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Train Journey - Bangalore to Chennai - Vacation 2014

The Yellow Board

I took the train back to Chennai from KR Puram railway station. My host, my friend for life, Kamesh, was kind enough to drop me at the station, early morning on that Christmas Day.

We reached the station just few minutes before the arrival of the train. The queue in the ticket counter was so long that I couldn't want for Kamesh to buy his platform ticket to accompany me to the platform. Kamesh instructed me to find the parking lot of my reserved compartment 'D' from the board in the platform. I couldn't find the board written 'D' on it. I could find A,B and C.I was looking at the small boards that were hanging from the roof.

I walked from this end to that end, twice, looking for my compartment number, in vain. I finally decided to ask some one. I went near two ladies. Looked at the younger one and asked,"Yeh compartment kahan rukega?" showed my mobile for her to read the booking confirmation SMS. She didn't look at my mobile and blinked at me.

I again said,"Chennai Express, compartment D, kahan rukega?". She murmured something which I didn't understand.

I said,"Do you know English?". She smiled and shook her head twice, which meant a NO.

I said,"Kannada?"

She smiled and nodded her head up and down twice. People were watching me strolling up and down with my mobile stretched forward. I felt like an uneducated nomad. There was a family standing next to the girl watching and listening to our conversation.

I walked forward a step ahead and asked a girl,"Do you know where the Compartment D would be parked?"

She answered,"You can find out from the board there. Which train?".

I said,"Chennai Express. But I could see other compartments and not D", pointing at the hanging boards.

She smiled and said,"Oh! you missed the large yellow board that shows the train names along with the parking spot of the compartments. Come with me"

I followed her. The large yellow board was erected right at the middle of the platform. I felt so shy and foolish to have missed that board that I laughed at myself.

She scanned the board for a few moments and said,"Your compartment would be parked in the place where you asked that girl. So lets go and wait there. In fact, I have bought a general ticket, though I have a tatkal ticket booked for me. But it is in waiting list. I shall ask the ticket checker to allot a cancelled seat for me."

I looked at her blankly. She understood and said,"Yeah, when your booked ticket is in waiting list and if you buy a general ticket before boarding the train, you can cajole the ticket checker to allot any of the cancelled seat, by giving him 'something'." I smiled at her.

The train arrived. People who were standing here and there started running towards the entrance of my compartment. The train would stop just for 2 minutes in that station. So,everybody wanted to get in before the train moved. I found no change in the behavior of the crowd.

The Fat Lady

I had a reservation and my seat number was 49, the window seat. I don't remember the name of the station from where this fat lady boarded the train. She looked at me and said,"50,51,55 get up". I looked at her and she waved her hand at me and at those who were sitting next to me. The one next to me was an old lady and she took her own time to get up. Probably she didn't have a seat reserved for her. She was supposed to travel in a general compartment. The fat lady looked at me annoyingly. I actually laughed at her and showed the written seat numbers to make clear that my seat number was actually 49. She shouted until others got up. Her behavior looked so funny to me. She didn't even made an attempt to verify or ask for my seat number, before commanding me as well as the others to get up. After the seats were vacated by a handful of people, her husband, her daughter and herself took their seats and sat comfortably. 
While this fat lady was preparing to sit I heard a loud argument just two rows ahead of me. I heard a girl shouting,"You should ask us politely, Mam. We have also reserved seats for us and we all are friends. We just want to sit near each other."  LOL! I know why the girl was angry with that woman.

Uma, the Observer

I am a kind of person who is interested in observing and analyzing the actions and reactions of persons in any given situation. This fat lady just got inside the train carrying all her luggage. I guess she was tired because she helped her thin husband to carry the suitcases from home to the train. She must also be tired due to her body weight. She was upset because her seat was occupied. She just wanted to sit and relax ASAP. Until then her body would not cooperate with her mind to act in a more polite manner. I was right. Because after sitting comfortably on the opposite seat of mine, she was bit composed and quiet. She stamped on my feet almost ten times before making herself comfortable. She didn't bother to apologize. I know the leg space was too small to accommodate her big feat. I had to sit tight to make more leg space for her throughout the 6 hours journey. She smiled at me after some time. I smiled back at her. She tried to strike a conversation with me. But I was not interested. So I buried my face in the book I bought from Higginbothams, Jeff's 'Kane and Abel'. 

Destined Meeting

I found Bangalore very very very cold. I returned to Chennai, with severe cold and throat infection. I had to pop a pain pill in the middle of the journey to feel better. After reaching the Park station from Chennai central station, I walked towards the ticket counter to buy the train ticket to Pallavaram. The girl who helped me in KR Puram railway station to find the parking lot of my compartment, was walking on the platform.

I smiled at her and said,"Oh! we are here again, together."

She smiled back and asked me,"Oh, yes. Where are you going?"

I said,"Pallavaram. And you?"

She replied,"Chrompet."

I asked,"What about the ticket?"

She said,"I have a monthly pass."

She walked away from me and I went to stand in the queue. There were five persons in the queue already. I was the sixth and the last. A guy came and stood beside me. I thought he has come along with some one else who was already standing in the queue somewhere.

After a while, he went to the guy who was standing before me and said,"Kannada"?

This guy looked at him questioningly. He said again,"Neenu Kannada?" and added,"Oru ticket Tambaram."

The guy who stood before me said in Tamil,"Queuela vaanga." (Stand in the queue)

The "Kannada" guy went back to stand in the queue.  Three more persons were standing behind me in the queue now. 

I bought the ticket and started to climb up the overhead bridge to the platform. The train to Pallavaram arrived and came to a halt. I was still climbing down the stairs, carrying my rolling travel suitcase. I didn't want to run down with the heavy suitcase, so I climbed down in normal speed. The train didn't leave the station until I boarded the ladies compartment. I found a vacant seat and went to sit there. The same girl was already sitting in the opposite seat of mine. This time we both laughed.

I said," I am back to you, again."

She playfully said,"Are you not going to leave me?"

I said,"Nope. I feel grateful to you. Because you helped me in Bangalore."

She said,"Oh! that's ok."

I got down in Pallavaram, waved my hand at her and said bye for the last time. She smiled and waved her hand back at me. Some people come into our life for a reason, a season or a life time.

Luv u all

Uma

Freelancer

Thrilling Drives - Vacation 2014 - Bangalore

The path to the lakeview holiday home is not much illuminated. So if you plan a late evening drive to the city or beyond Jakkur Lake, then please make sure that you make a note of the turns and points to trace back your way to the apartment from the main road.

This is how thrilling it was when we returned back to the apartment after a late evening drive to the city



The drive to the city was not so thrilling. But it was really enjoyable to watch the decorations on the MG Road for Christmas and New Year.

I had a nice time with my friends & family and the city, Bangalore. I am already looking forward to my next vacation - to Mysore :)

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer