Saturday, April 25, 2009

Fear of Aging


I, suddenly realize that my skin is not looking as smooth as it used to be a year ago. I look at the surface of my skin keenly, only to see the small wrinkles appearing over it, between the tiny hairs. I look at the mirror and find that my hairs has started turning Grey. Am I aging? I feel sad for a moment and think deeply.

I was so proud of my smooth brown skin. I apply oil every day and keep them moist during the spring season. I use sunscreen lotion during every summer to save my skin from the sunlight. I heard from the elders, that applying peeled potato over the skin, will give the skin all the refreshment it need. Alas, I did that too. All went in vain. Should I have to imagine that the lotions and the natural vegetables that I use are the wrong choices? Or the nature is superior to all my efforts?

Not just my skin that indicates that am aging. The difference in my surroundings also tells the same. I notice that the kids whom I saw playing in the PS2, for the past 4 years, have started browsing the Internet. They lost interest in their favorite games of wrestling, shooting and adventure. They are more interested in looking at new things in life. And it is everybody’s guess what would their interest be. So I am aging. In other words, I am growing old.

I also realize that I don’t attract as many opposite sex as I used to. Of course the men look at me, when I look at them. They do stare at me, whenever I look at them. Does that mean that I still have the sexual appeal? Do I still look younger for my age? Do I still look good? Or do men look at every woman in the same way irrespective of the woman’s sexual appeal, skin and the appearance?

Does heart matters here? I mean, YOUNG at HEART matters here? Why am I so bothered about aging? Am I so worried that my physical appearance might shake the confidence in me? Does physical appearance matters to lead a successful life? Does it bother my close friends and family members as much as it is bothering me?

Uma
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