Can 'letting go' bring peace to you and to others?

I’ve read countless articles and books about letting go in order to gain peace of mind. I’m sure you’ve read them too. You’ve probably also heard elders or friends advise you to release the feelings that keep you awake at night.

But I always wondered—how do you let go of something so close to your heart? How do you walk away from what feels precious, just because others don’t understand or accept it?

Today, I want to share two personal stories with you. The first shows what kind of person I was years ago, holding firmly to my opinions. The second reveals how life and experience have changed me.

Story One: 2002

One of my close friends once called me and said,
“I just read the open letter you wrote to your husband on your blog.”

I replied, “Great. Thanks.”

He immediately said, “Take it down. Right now.”

Surprised, I asked, “Why would I?”

He said, “There’s no reason for the whole world to know there’s a rift between you and your husband.”

I explained, “That post isn’t just about my husband. I wrote it for all the husbands who treat their wives like that. I wanted them to understand what women truly feel. Did you read the comments? Most of them are from men who admitted I had voiced what many women wanted to say to their husbands.”

But he insisted, “Your husband doesn’t use the Internet. He doesn’t even know about your blog. He has no chance to defend himself. That’s not fair.”

I stood firm. “I didn’t stop him from using the Internet. That was his choice. Writing is my freedom.”

He pressed again, “Are you going to take it down or not?”

And I answered firmly, “No.”

He ended the call. Later, when we met at a party, he brought it up again. I told him not to raise it again.

That was in 2002.

Story Two: 2016

Many years later, in 2016, a close relative called me. She asked,
“Would you dare to share your secrets with the world to raise social awareness?”

I said confidently, “Yes, I would. In fact, I already have. I’ve shared many personal experiences on my blog.”

She hesitated, then said, “That may be fine for your life, but I don’t want my daughter’s story online.”

I immediately knew what she meant. “Oh—you mean the post about teaching girls the difference between good touch and bad touch?”

“Exactly,” she said. “Everyone in your circle knows who my daughter is. When they read that, they’ll picture her as the girl in the story. I don’t want that.”

I apologized. “I’m sorry. I never thought of it that way when I published the post six years ago. I only wanted to sound authentic by mentioning who she was. I didn’t mean any harm.”

But she was upset about more than just that post. She said she’d been holding back her feelings for years—about my blog, about the photos I’d shared in our private family Facebook group. She didn’t want certain things shared at all.

Back in 2002, I had been defiant with my friend. But now, my response was different. I didn’t argue. I didn’t defend myself. I simply said, “Okay.” I listened quietly until she ended the call.

Reflections

Later, I thought about it. Same actions, two different times—two very different responses from me.

In 2002, I fought hard to justify my choices.
In 2016, I stayed calm, patient, and willing to compromise.

Why the change?

Because I realized that what feels right to me may feel wrong to someone else. My intentions might be good, but if my words disturb someone’s peace, is it worth holding on?

So I acted. I deleted all the photographs from the private group. I modified the blog post so her daughter could not be identified. And while I was at it, I remembered that old post my friend had asked me to remove years ago. I finally took it down too.

Peace all around.

Closing Thoughts

Letting go doesn’t always mean giving up your truth. Sometimes, it simply means choosing peace over pride.

I know my relative felt happier, and my friend too. And I realized I no longer carried the same anger—whether it was against my husband back then, or the man who once violated a child’s innocence.

I let it go.
And it felt lighter.

Thank you for reading.
With love,
Uma
Freelancer

Our Rivers are Our Treasures

Have you seen a River that flows in full, from this end of the bank to that end, without waiting for the little children to catch their breath after they fall into it? That is how I spent my summer holidays at my Grandma's village, while I was a little girl. I just watched them swim, in awe. 

I don't know to swim. I am going to learn to swim. But I remember having played in the banks of the river in my Grandma's village, Kattuputhur. I still remember the kids and elders alike, jumping in and swimming against the streams and having fun in the mornings. I still remember how my aunt carried me on her hip and held my head on the river water to wash my hairs.  My face was facing the sky. The view of the open sky and the feel of the current on my hair and head scared me to death. I had long thick hairs, then. :) 

The river has no water there now. It is all dried up. Most of my mother's relatives had to leave farming and migrate to cities in search of some job to make their both ends meet. Now, I wish to do anything to get the river alive. I support the policy that Sadhguru has drafted and submitted to the Indian Government. He states that our Rivers have to be declared as National Treasures. And I wholeheartedly support this. The draft policy document can be downloaded from here. 

Won't you love to see a green nation with blue rivers flowing all around every village and every city? Won't you want our farmers to return to their homes to grow food for us, right here, in our own soil? Won't you want to put an end to the suicide by poor farmers? 

Please give a missed call to 80009 80009 to show your support to the government. Your call is your vote. Don't you agree that we need to revive our rivers to have a healthy and wealthy nation? I am sure you do agree with me. Thank you for giving a missed call.


Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Do you LOVE TREES? I do!

If you love planting and growing trees, like me, then you can join this Project GreenHands. I have a tree that is planted in the coordinates shown in the image below. I can track my tree from Jan 1st 2018. Wohoooo! I am excited. :)

Come, let us grow trees together.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Running to Raise Funds for the Underprivileged Children's Education

Hi, How are you doing today? 

I have a long story to tell you why I am running to raise funds for poor children's education. I know you are busy. So, I am going to make it short for you.

Why am I running to raise funds? - To pay it forward. 

Huh? -Yes. 

The Story:

MOTHER:

My mom was 2yrs old when her father passed away. Her mother was illiterate and was very young. So, she was sent to an orphanage. She grew up in an orphanage. She was a bright student. She learned to cope with the difficulties of life inside the orphanage as well as outside. She is now 78yrs old and retired as a Senior Supervisor from the Dept. of Telecom. I am so proud to have raised by such an inspiring Mother. 

FATHER:

My late father lost his father when he was 4yrs old. His father was killed by his friends for money. He had to get the help of his relatives to go to school. He didn't have clothes other than a loincloth to cover himself. His teachers and relatives helped him to complete his studies. He retired as a Deputy Director of the Ministry of Planning. I am sad that I failed to understand his value while he was alive. Not a day passes without feeling grateful for all that he has done for me and for my siblings. He was a MAN OF PRINCIPLES.

Both my parents worked hard to give me and my siblings a good quality education and a very decent livelihood.

Now you know the effect of education. In a way, I feel that I am indebted to the society. I have always helped poor children whenever possible and I am still doing. I would also like to get some help from friends like you, who can join hands with me to raise funds. 

Who Am I Running For?

I have visited Isha Vidya Matriculation School, Villupuram and experienced the ambiance of the school, simple and effective teaching methods for these rural kids, student's enthusiasm in learning et al. Now I know that they are getting a good quality education and being taught (and cared) by teachers who treat their students as their own children. I have never seen, in any school, such love and respect between the teacher and the students. Future is safe in the hands of these children.I pray none of these students drop out of this school for any reasons.

I also visited some of the Parents of the students. The moment I saw their home, I knew that these kid's education is going to improve their standard of living. And it is my responsibility to lend a helping hand to the Isha Foundation to continue doing what they are doing - giving good quality education in a good environment to the underprivileged children. How can I forget that my Parents were once one among them? 

Can You Help?

You can help too. Please join me, if you can. All you need to do is to click on the below link and donate as much as you can. Your money is going to provide food (noon-meal/lunch), cloth, and education to those kids who don't even have a roof over their heads that can keep them safe from sunlight and rains. I request you to join with me to do our best to help these kids to get a decent life at least after a few years of their studies. 

These kids have a very long way to go to have a nice place to live, eat good food and wear nice clothes.    

Please CLICK HERE TO HELP

Thank you so much for helping the likes of my Parents.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

How to think positive?

I know you and I have heard elders asking us to think positively. I have always wondered HOW can I think positive when nothing happened in the manner I wanted them to happen.

How can I think positive about my relationship with those who doesn't seem to understand me? How can I change the negative feeling about them?

I have realised that Yoga helps a person to understand one's own self, which in turn helps to understand others as well.I am glad I learned Yoga.

Thanks to Migraines. I learned Yoga to get rid of it and have become a much better person now.

I guess it is because of Yoga, I have learned the 'HOW' to think positive, finally, at the age of 48!

Father has passed away 8months back. Now, at the age of 48, I live with my Mother, two of my siblings, two little nephews, elderly in-laws and my husband. There are many experiences in life that have taught me how to think positively and am going to share a couple of them with you. If that helps you and if you start to think positively then I will feel very happy.

The other day I went to meet the class teacher of my 7year old nephew. There was another parent also waiting for the teacher. Her little daughter, my nephew's classmate was also standing with her.

She said to her daughter,"It is so fortunate and that you are lucky your dad didn't come to sign your report card. You would have got nice thrashes from him for your poor marks." The little girl looked at me with a sad face.

I turned to her mother. She looked at me and said,"She has scored very poor marks in all the subjects."

I said,"You should have taught her well at home. It is your duty to see that she studies well. She is just a little girl."

She said,"Oh! we do. Myself and her dad. She answers all the questions correctly at home. So we knew that she knows all the answers. But she is not writing them on the answer paper."

I said,"Then you have to make her write all the answers on a paper at home. She is good in saying but not so good in writing, which means she needs more training in writing down whatever she knows. So, you have to make her write all the answers. Cultivate the habit of writing on a paper. Beating and scolding are not going to help her. Why would you or your husband beat her when you guys don't even find the reason for her poor marks in the exams?"

I got a very meaningful and thoughtful look from the lady. I know that I have triggered a positive thought on improving her daughter's abilities.

Here is another incident. It has always been a habit in our household to point fingers at others when something goes wrong. I think it is the same in every household. When good happens, everybody feels happy. When bad happens then nobody would like to analyse to find out what went wrong and how to correct it. The first thing that they do is pointing fingers at someone or the other.

 My sister is the one who cooks at home. She is a better cook than me. She kept some liquid mixture near the stove to be poured into another mixture that was boiling on the stove. I wanted to heat my morning coffee. So I kept this aside and replaced my coffee there and switched on the stove. She stood up from the floor and put the curry leaves inside my coffee. Then she reached to the shelf to add some pepper powder into it.

It looked funny to me and I laughed. She was puzzled and asked me,"Why are you laughing?"

I said,"Looks like you are making rasam out of my coffee."

She said,"Why would I? I only threw the curry leaves into the tamarind juice that I kept here."

Then she realised what has happened and looked at me and said,"It was your fault."

I said,"huh?"

She said,"It is you who kept the coffee there where I kept the tamarind juice. Wasn't my fault."

I asked her,"What would you do when you find out whose fault it is?"

She looked at me quietly for a second and said,"Right."

I took the curry leaves out, heated my coffee and walked towards the dining table to drink it.

She shouted from the kitchen,"It has become a habit to point fingers at others instead of finding what should be done to change the scenario quickly. I should have taken the curry leaves immediately. How does your coffee taste?"

Since I don't add sugar to my coffee, it had the taste of curry leaves. But I didn't say that to her else she would feel guilty. I said that it tasted good.

I would really love to read positive experiences that have inspired people. Or the negative experiences that have made a positive effect. Please share your stories with the virtual world. Let us spread positivism around us. Looking forward to reading your experiences.


Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

A Teacher’s Ownership!

I saw a first-grade teacher peeping from the front gate of my nephew’s school with a little girl tucked between her thighs. When my nephew saw me walking towards the gate, he ran towards me and thrust his bag to me and ran towards his classmate who was walking ahead with his mother. I smiled at my nephew’s former teacher and asked her, “Hello Miss! How are you?”

She said, “I am good. How are you?”

I nodded my head towards the little girl and asked her, “Is she your daughter?”

She replied, “No. She is not. She is my student. I am waiting for her parent to come and pick her up.”

I smiled at her and replied, “Oh, that is so nice of you.”

She smiled and said, “Until one of her parents come to pick her up, she is my child, of course.”

I felt very happy to hear that and said, “I really appreciate your kindness and accountability. Every teacher should think and act like you.”

She said, “Thanks.”

When I bid her bye, I saw my nephew’s teacher watching our conversation standing a little distance away from us.

The next day when I went to pick my second grader, I saw my nephew’s teacher standing inside the school near to the first-grade teacher holding a little kid's hand, obviously waiting for the kid’s parent. I was happy that I could make a person think about accountability and responsibility.

Earlier, I have heard from many parents that the second-grade teacher is not approachable and not available for any discussion.

Though I have never seen her interacting with any parents, I have never hesitated to go after her, after school hours whenever I needed any clarifications about tests and other extra-curricular activities. And I found that she is not bold enough to talk to parents. When a teacher hesitates to talk to the parents, there could be just two reasons. She is either not so confident about her abilities or just don't care for her students. What do you think? 

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Your Army Boyfriend and Your Love

I received a message in Facebook from a girl who read my answer to one of the questions on Quora about marrying an army boyfriend. She asked me to help her to understand the situation and her expectations. I have replied to her based on my life experiences.

This was her question:

I had always desired to marry one and even had a boyfriend but we never lasted long it was because he never loved me. But I still wants to marry one, mam the issue is after my last relationship I broke and found myself as emotionally too weak, we often had fight for not being in conversation much, lack of concern and care from his side, he never made effort to make the relationship work and had attitude of accepting his fault.Afterwards seeing my condition my friends asked me not to look for a man from army asked I.need emotional support and they believe that this kind of behaviour is common for all of them, which made mean wonder should I marry them, r they all so cold, I do understand the problem of their being busy but r they all so cold I know it's little awkward to ask stranger such questions but still if u could help me.

I am giving the screenshots below. I thought I can share this with my readers. It could help someone else who are also in the same kind of situation in their life.

Luv u all

Uma

Freelancer