I’ve read countless articles and books about letting go in order to gain peace of mind. I’m sure you’ve read them too. You’ve probably also heard elders or friends advise you to release the feelings that keep you awake at night.
But I always wondered—how do you let go of something so close to your heart? How do you walk away from what feels precious, just because others don’t understand or accept it?
Today, I want to share two personal stories with you. The first shows what kind of person I was years ago, holding firmly to my opinions. The second reveals how life and experience have changed me.
Story One: 2002
One of my close friends once called me and said,
“I just read the open letter you wrote to your husband on your blog.”
I replied, “Great. Thanks.”
He immediately said, “Take it down. Right now.”
Surprised, I asked, “Why would I?”
He said, “There’s no reason for the whole world to know there’s a rift between you and your husband.”
I explained, “That post isn’t just about my husband. I wrote it for all the husbands who treat their wives like that. I wanted them to understand what women truly feel. Did you read the comments? Most of them are from men who admitted I had voiced what many women wanted to say to their husbands.”
But he insisted, “Your husband doesn’t use the Internet. He doesn’t even know about your blog. He has no chance to defend himself. That’s not fair.”
I stood firm. “I didn’t stop him from using the Internet. That was his choice. Writing is my freedom.”
He pressed again, “Are you going to take it down or not?”
And I answered firmly, “No.”
He ended the call. Later, when we met at a party, he brought it up again. I told him not to raise it again.
That was in 2002.
Story Two: 2016
Many years later, in 2016, a close relative called me. She asked,
“Would you dare to share your secrets with the world to raise social awareness?”
I said confidently, “Yes, I would. In fact, I already have. I’ve shared many personal experiences on my blog.”
She hesitated, then said, “That may be fine for your life, but I don’t want my daughter’s story online.”
I immediately knew what she meant. “Oh—you mean the post about teaching girls the difference between good touch and bad touch?”
“Exactly,” she said. “Everyone in your circle knows who my daughter is. When they read that, they’ll picture her as the girl in the story. I don’t want that.”
I apologized. “I’m sorry. I never thought of it that way when I published the post six years ago. I only wanted to sound authentic by mentioning who she was. I didn’t mean any harm.”
But she was upset about more than just that post. She said she’d been holding back her feelings for years—about my blog, about the photos I’d shared in our private family Facebook group. She didn’t want certain things shared at all.
Back in 2002, I had been defiant with my friend. But now, my response was different. I didn’t argue. I didn’t defend myself. I simply said, “Okay.” I listened quietly until she ended the call.
Reflections
Later, I thought about it. Same actions, two different times—two very different responses from me.
In 2002, I fought hard to justify my choices.
In 2016, I stayed calm, patient, and willing to compromise.
Why the change?
Because I realized that what feels right to me may feel wrong to someone else. My intentions might be good, but if my words disturb someone’s peace, is it worth holding on?
So I acted. I deleted all the photographs from the private group. I modified the blog post so her daughter could not be identified. And while I was at it, I remembered that old post my friend had asked me to remove years ago. I finally took it down too.
Peace all around.
Closing Thoughts
Letting go doesn’t always mean giving up your truth. Sometimes, it simply means choosing peace over pride.
I know my relative felt happier, and my friend too. And I realized I no longer carried the same anger—whether it was against my husband back then, or the man who once violated a child’s innocence.
I let it go.
And it felt lighter.
Thank you for reading.
With love,
Uma
Freelancer
