Can 'letting go' bring peace to you and to others?

I’ve read countless articles and books about letting go in order to gain peace of mind. I’m sure you’ve read them too. You’ve probably also heard elders or friends advise you to release the feelings that keep you awake at night.

But I always wondered—how do you let go of something so close to your heart? How do you walk away from what feels precious, just because others don’t understand or accept it?

Today, I want to share two personal stories with you. The first shows what kind of person I was years ago, holding firmly to my opinions. The second reveals how life and experience have changed me.

Story One: 2002

One of my close friends once called me and said,
“I just read the open letter you wrote to your husband on your blog.”

I replied, “Great. Thanks.”

He immediately said, “Take it down. Right now.”

Surprised, I asked, “Why would I?”

He said, “There’s no reason for the whole world to know there’s a rift between you and your husband.”

I explained, “That post isn’t just about my husband. I wrote it for all the husbands who treat their wives like that. I wanted them to understand what women truly feel. Did you read the comments? Most of them are from men who admitted I had voiced what many women wanted to say to their husbands.”

But he insisted, “Your husband doesn’t use the Internet. He doesn’t even know about your blog. He has no chance to defend himself. That’s not fair.”

I stood firm. “I didn’t stop him from using the Internet. That was his choice. Writing is my freedom.”

He pressed again, “Are you going to take it down or not?”

And I answered firmly, “No.”

He ended the call. Later, when we met at a party, he brought it up again. I told him not to raise it again.

That was in 2002.

Story Two: 2016

Many years later, in 2016, a close relative called me. She asked,
“Would you dare to share your secrets with the world to raise social awareness?”

I said confidently, “Yes, I would. In fact, I already have. I’ve shared many personal experiences on my blog.”

She hesitated, then said, “That may be fine for your life, but I don’t want my daughter’s story online.”

I immediately knew what she meant. “Oh—you mean the post about teaching girls the difference between good touch and bad touch?”

“Exactly,” she said. “Everyone in your circle knows who my daughter is. When they read that, they’ll picture her as the girl in the story. I don’t want that.”

I apologized. “I’m sorry. I never thought of it that way when I published the post six years ago. I only wanted to sound authentic by mentioning who she was. I didn’t mean any harm.”

But she was upset about more than just that post. She said she’d been holding back her feelings for years—about my blog, about the photos I’d shared in our private family Facebook group. She didn’t want certain things shared at all.

Back in 2002, I had been defiant with my friend. But now, my response was different. I didn’t argue. I didn’t defend myself. I simply said, “Okay.” I listened quietly until she ended the call.

Reflections

Later, I thought about it. Same actions, two different times—two very different responses from me.

In 2002, I fought hard to justify my choices.
In 2016, I stayed calm, patient, and willing to compromise.

Why the change?

Because I realized that what feels right to me may feel wrong to someone else. My intentions might be good, but if my words disturb someone’s peace, is it worth holding on?

So I acted. I deleted all the photographs from the private group. I modified the blog post so her daughter could not be identified. And while I was at it, I remembered that old post my friend had asked me to remove years ago. I finally took it down too.

Peace all around.

Closing Thoughts

Letting go doesn’t always mean giving up your truth. Sometimes, it simply means choosing peace over pride.

I know my relative felt happier, and my friend too. And I realized I no longer carried the same anger—whether it was against my husband back then, or the man who once violated a child’s innocence.

I let it go.
And it felt lighter.

Thank you for reading.
With love,
Uma
Freelancer

Our Rivers are Our Treasures

Have you seen a River that flows in full, from this end of the bank to that end, without waiting for the little children to catch their breath after they fall into it? That is how I spent my summer holidays at my Grandma's village, while I was a little girl. I just watched them swim, in awe. 

I don't know to swim. I am going to learn to swim. But I remember having played in the banks of the river in my Grandma's village, Kattuputhur. I still remember the kids and elders alike, jumping in and swimming against the streams and having fun in the mornings. I still remember how my aunt carried me on her hip and held my head on the river water to wash my hairs.  My face was facing the sky. The view of the open sky and the feel of the current on my hair and head scared me to death. I had long thick hairs, then. :) 

The river has no water there now. It is all dried up. Most of my mother's relatives had to leave farming and migrate to cities in search of some job to make their both ends meet. Now, I wish to do anything to get the river alive. I support the policy that Sadhguru has drafted and submitted to the Indian Government. He states that our Rivers have to be declared as National Treasures. And I wholeheartedly support this. The draft policy document can be downloaded from here. 

Won't you love to see a green nation with blue rivers flowing all around every village and every city? Won't you want our farmers to return to their homes to grow food for us, right here, in our own soil? Won't you want to put an end to the suicide by poor farmers? 

Please give a missed call to 80009 80009 to show your support to the government. Your call is your vote. Don't you agree that we need to revive our rivers to have a healthy and wealthy nation? I am sure you do agree with me. Thank you for giving a missed call.


Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Do you LOVE TREES? I do!

If you love planting and growing trees, like me, then you can join this Project GreenHands. I have a tree that is planted in the coordinates shown in the image below. I can track my tree from Jan 1st 2018. Wohoooo! I am excited. :)

Come, let us grow trees together.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Running to Raise Funds for the Underprivileged Children's Education

Hi, How are you doing today? 

I have a long story to tell you why I am running to raise funds for poor children's education. I know you are busy. So, I am going to make it short for you.

Why am I running to raise funds? - To pay it forward. 

Huh? -Yes. 

The Story:

MOTHER:

My mom was 2yrs old when her father passed away. Her mother was illiterate and was very young. So, she was sent to an orphanage. She grew up in an orphanage. She was a bright student. She learned to cope with the difficulties of life inside the orphanage as well as outside. She is now 78yrs old and retired as a Senior Supervisor from the Dept. of Telecom. I am so proud to have raised by such an inspiring Mother. 

FATHER:

My late father lost his father when he was 4yrs old. His father was killed by his friends for money. He had to get the help of his relatives to go to school. He didn't have clothes other than a loincloth to cover himself. His teachers and relatives helped him to complete his studies. He retired as a Deputy Director of the Ministry of Planning. I am sad that I failed to understand his value while he was alive. Not a day passes without feeling grateful for all that he has done for me and for my siblings. He was a MAN OF PRINCIPLES.

Both my parents worked hard to give me and my siblings a good quality education and a very decent livelihood.

Now you know the effect of education. In a way, I feel that I am indebted to the society. I have always helped poor children whenever possible and I am still doing. I would also like to get some help from friends like you, who can join hands with me to raise funds. 

Who Am I Running For?

I have visited Isha Vidya Matriculation School, Villupuram and experienced the ambiance of the school, simple and effective teaching methods for these rural kids, student's enthusiasm in learning et al. Now I know that they are getting a good quality education and being taught (and cared) by teachers who treat their students as their own children. I have never seen, in any school, such love and respect between the teacher and the students. Future is safe in the hands of these children.I pray none of these students drop out of this school for any reasons.

I also visited some of the Parents of the students. The moment I saw their home, I knew that these kid's education is going to improve their standard of living. And it is my responsibility to lend a helping hand to the Isha Foundation to continue doing what they are doing - giving good quality education in a good environment to the underprivileged children. How can I forget that my Parents were once one among them? 

Can You Help?

You can help too. Please join me, if you can. All you need to do is to click on the below link and donate as much as you can. Your money is going to provide food (noon-meal/lunch), cloth, and education to those kids who don't even have a roof over their heads that can keep them safe from sunlight and rains. I request you to join with me to do our best to help these kids to get a decent life at least after a few years of their studies. 

These kids have a very long way to go to have a nice place to live, eat good food and wear nice clothes.    

Please CLICK HERE TO HELP

Thank you so much for helping the likes of my Parents.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

How to think positive?

I know you and I have heard elders asking us to think positively. I have always wondered HOW can I think positive when nothing happened in the manner I wanted them to happen.

How can I think positive about my relationship with those who doesn't seem to understand me? How can I change the negative feeling about them?

I have realised that Yoga helps a person to understand one's own self, which in turn helps to understand others as well.I am glad I learned Yoga.

Thanks to Migraines. I learned Yoga to get rid of it and have become a much better person now.

I guess it is because of Yoga, I have learned the 'HOW' to think positive, finally, at the age of 48!

Father has passed away 8months back. Now, at the age of 48, I live with my Mother, two of my siblings, two little nephews, elderly in-laws and my husband. There are many experiences in life that have taught me how to think positively and am going to share a couple of them with you. If that helps you and if you start to think positively then I will feel very happy.

The other day I went to meet the class teacher of my 7year old nephew. There was another parent also waiting for the teacher. Her little daughter, my nephew's classmate was also standing with her.

She said to her daughter,"It is so fortunate and that you are lucky your dad didn't come to sign your report card. You would have got nice thrashes from him for your poor marks." The little girl looked at me with a sad face.

I turned to her mother. She looked at me and said,"She has scored very poor marks in all the subjects."

I said,"You should have taught her well at home. It is your duty to see that she studies well. She is just a little girl."

She said,"Oh! we do. Myself and her dad. She answers all the questions correctly at home. So we knew that she knows all the answers. But she is not writing them on the answer paper."

I said,"Then you have to make her write all the answers on a paper at home. She is good in saying but not so good in writing, which means she needs more training in writing down whatever she knows. So, you have to make her write all the answers. Cultivate the habit of writing on a paper. Beating and scolding are not going to help her. Why would you or your husband beat her when you guys don't even find the reason for her poor marks in the exams?"

I got a very meaningful and thoughtful look from the lady. I know that I have triggered a positive thought on improving her daughter's abilities.

Here is another incident. It has always been a habit in our household to point fingers at others when something goes wrong. I think it is the same in every household. When good happens, everybody feels happy. When bad happens then nobody would like to analyse to find out what went wrong and how to correct it. The first thing that they do is pointing fingers at someone or the other.

 My sister is the one who cooks at home. She is a better cook than me. She kept some liquid mixture near the stove to be poured into another mixture that was boiling on the stove. I wanted to heat my morning coffee. So I kept this aside and replaced my coffee there and switched on the stove. She stood up from the floor and put the curry leaves inside my coffee. Then she reached to the shelf to add some pepper powder into it.

It looked funny to me and I laughed. She was puzzled and asked me,"Why are you laughing?"

I said,"Looks like you are making rasam out of my coffee."

She said,"Why would I? I only threw the curry leaves into the tamarind juice that I kept here."

Then she realised what has happened and looked at me and said,"It was your fault."

I said,"huh?"

She said,"It is you who kept the coffee there where I kept the tamarind juice. Wasn't my fault."

I asked her,"What would you do when you find out whose fault it is?"

She looked at me quietly for a second and said,"Right."

I took the curry leaves out, heated my coffee and walked towards the dining table to drink it.

She shouted from the kitchen,"It has become a habit to point fingers at others instead of finding what should be done to change the scenario quickly. I should have taken the curry leaves immediately. How does your coffee taste?"

Since I don't add sugar to my coffee, it had the taste of curry leaves. But I didn't say that to her else she would feel guilty. I said that it tasted good.

I would really love to read positive experiences that have inspired people. Or the negative experiences that have made a positive effect. Please share your stories with the virtual world. Let us spread positivism around us. Looking forward to reading your experiences.


Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

A Teacher’s Ownership!

I saw a first-grade teacher peeping from the front gate of my nephew’s school with a little girl tucked between her thighs. When my nephew saw me walking towards the gate, he ran towards me and thrust his bag to me and ran towards his classmate who was walking ahead with his mother. I smiled at my nephew’s former teacher and asked her, “Hello Miss! How are you?”

She said, “I am good. How are you?”

I nodded my head towards the little girl and asked her, “Is she your daughter?”

She replied, “No. She is not. She is my student. I am waiting for her parent to come and pick her up.”

I smiled at her and replied, “Oh, that is so nice of you.”

She smiled and said, “Until one of her parents come to pick her up, she is my child, of course.”

I felt very happy to hear that and said, “I really appreciate your kindness and accountability. Every teacher should think and act like you.”

She said, “Thanks.”

When I bid her bye, I saw my nephew’s teacher watching our conversation standing a little distance away from us.

The next day when I went to pick my second grader, I saw my nephew’s teacher standing inside the school near to the first-grade teacher holding a little kid's hand, obviously waiting for the kid’s parent. I was happy that I could make a person think about accountability and responsibility.

Earlier, I have heard from many parents that the second-grade teacher is not approachable and not available for any discussion.

Though I have never seen her interacting with any parents, I have never hesitated to go after her, after school hours whenever I needed any clarifications about tests and other extra-curricular activities. And I found that she is not bold enough to talk to parents. When a teacher hesitates to talk to the parents, there could be just two reasons. She is either not so confident about her abilities or just don't care for her students. What do you think? 

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Your Army Boyfriend and Your Love

I received a message in Facebook from a girl who read my answer to one of the questions on Quora about marrying an army boyfriend. She asked me to help her to understand the situation and her expectations. I have replied to her based on my life experiences.

This was her question:

I had always desired to marry one and even had a boyfriend but we never lasted long it was because he never loved me. But I still wants to marry one, mam the issue is after my last relationship I broke and found myself as emotionally too weak, we often had fight for not being in conversation much, lack of concern and care from his side, he never made effort to make the relationship work and had attitude of accepting his fault.Afterwards seeing my condition my friends asked me not to look for a man from army asked I.need emotional support and they believe that this kind of behaviour is common for all of them, which made mean wonder should I marry them, r they all so cold, I do understand the problem of their being busy but r they all so cold I know it's little awkward to ask stranger such questions but still if u could help me.

I am giving the screenshots below. I thought I can share this with my readers. It could help someone else who are also in the same kind of situation in their life.

Luv u all

Uma

Freelancer

3 Easy Steps to Transform Your Body and Mind

I was asked to reply a question by a Quora member.

The question was  How should one motivate oneself for physical transformation when it seems really tough?

I have shared a short para here. You can go here to read my full reply.

DO NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS - Do not worry about the people who look at you while you walk or jog. When you look at others, chances are more to get demotivated. Concentrate on YOUR body and YOUR mind.

People WILL make fun of you, even if you look good. I have come across guys who laughed at me for jogging early in the morning though I was lean. But I do exercises to keep me fit and feel great. There were comments like," I don't even know why she is running." Another comment," She is wasting her energy." One more comment," She is growing old. Why should she continue jogging even now."  And then this happened.

Read More


Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Is This Why your husband beat you?

One of my best friends live away from her husband. The only complaint that she has against him is that he beats her. He beats her kids. He is a very angry and a very short tempered person. Otherwise he is a very nice man. All he want from her and her kids is to listen to his words, either they like it or not.

I know most of the women out there face this problem with their partners. Sometimes it would be the other partner. The wife would be determined to see that her words are heard and listened to. I guess it depends on the dominating personality.

I had an opportunity to stay with this friend for a week. I observed that she didn't bother to recycle the left over foods that laid in the fridge for two days. I asked her about this.

She said,"Oh, every morning I only think about giving fresh foods to my kids. So I keep forgetting about it."

I asked her,"What would you do now that the left overs are rotten."

She replied,"I will dispose it."

I asked her,"Does your husband approve of  wasting food now and then?"

She looked at me quietly for a full minute. I said,"Maybe this is one of the many reasons he beat you. You shouldn't waste food like this. Food is money. Nobody likes wasting food."

She said,"It is not that I do it in purpose. I want my kids to eat fresh food everyday."

I said,"You will have to plan the meals accordingly, so that you will have no (very little) left overs."

I took one look at the shelves in the kitchen. She said,"My husband used to arrange them neatly for me once in a while. But I don't follow the same arrangement. And I ask him once in three months to do the arrangement again." She paused thoughtfully.

I said,"And."

She repled,"He used to yell at me to not to make him work in the kitchen just because I find it difficult to work."

She continued,"I think I understand SOME of the reasons for his beatings. I should learn to be a better wife to him before expecting him to be a better husband to me."

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

The Best Way to Build Better Relationships

I am the eldest of 5 children. So I have grown up to become a more mature person now when compared with my younger days. I am proud to say that my siblings, as well as most of my friends, don’t think twice before approaching me for any suggestions or whenever they are challenged by the situations in life. If you are the first female kid with more than two kids after you, in your family, you will agree with me that when your siblings grow up, they look up to you for all the help.

I have learned to stay calm and quiet when I know that am right and others are wrong. The learning process was a hard one. But am happy that I learned the hardest of lessons in my life. Now, I have become a calmer, more matured and more enlightened person. 

During the learning process, I found myself being tested and taunted. There were instances when my silence was taken as acceptance of my wrong, when I believed that I was right. My quietness was considered as a weakness when I didn't want to show that they are the weaker ones in reality. My quietness was misunderstood that I didn't care about their opinion on the issue. But finally, when the cloud cleared everything got cleared between me and them. They understood me well. It WILL take time, a week, a month or maybe years. 

People change. Their thoughts change. Their actions change. They WILL understand you better when they grow and when they understand their own self. Until then you need to be patient and quiet.

Patience and quietness are the most important traits to build ANY struggling relationship, stronger. But trust me keeping quiet is THE BEST way to solve a burning issue. It couldn’t be solved then and there. But it would eventually get solved at the right time. And YOU will be the winner.

Here is an example:

I soak the clothes of my little nephews and my brother's dresses in a detergent before loading them in the washing machine. Both my nephews and my brother never get tired of playing football and cricket. So I soak their clothes in the detergent for fifteen minutes. It is me who do the soaking, loading and drying the clothes. I do the soaking early morning as soon as I wake up. So that I can load it in the washing machine after I brush my teeth and had my coffee. By the time I get ready to go to work, the washing would be over.

That particular day, I got up late. So, I requested my youngest sister to put the soaked clothes inside the washing machine while I was getting ready to leave to my office. I instructed her to load the heavy clothes first before loading the lightweight clothes. I told her that she has to put one cotton white pant and two dhotis first. She started loading the lightweight clothes first that were on top of the heavy ones. I said, “That’s ok. You can now put the pant and the dhotis and push them below the light ones.” She took the pant and put it inside the washing machine. She then said,” Sis, there is just one Dhoti.”

I was still getting ready and said,” No, there are two Dhotis. I soaked 2”

She again said,” Nope, there is just 1.”

I knew she was either feeling lazy to dig deeper into the tub or she wants to just complete loading as soon as possible.

If you were me, how could you have reacted?

1.    Yelled at her saying,” You are a lazy girl! Why don’t you search for it? It was me that soaked the clothes. Won’t I know what I did?”

OR

2.    Yelled at her saying, “Come on! Do you think that I am blind? Do you think that I am telling lies to you? I should have got up early this morning to do it on my own. I know that this is what will happen when I ask for help from someone else.”

OR

3.   Stood by her side, patted at her back, made her bend lower to search and say,” Now that you are a little bit closer to the tub, you will find the Dhoti.”  Stood near her until she found the Dhoti and gave her a taunting gesture to make her feel bad?

OR

4.    Would you just quietly continue getting ready to work and wait for her to find the second Dhoti?

Let us analyze what would happen when you chose the  

Option 1:

Firstly, you wasted your time saying all those negative words about her.

Secondly, you called her names - ‘lazy girl’ and ‘not good at searching’

Thirdly, you spoke high of yourself – ‘I did it’ and so ‘I know it’

The Result:

You have lost a few seconds of your prep time. You have lost your nerves and energy by uttering those negative words. You have spread all negative energies around you.

It was YOU who got affected due to your outburst and not her.

Option 2:

Firstly, you wasted much of your time uttering more words in a harsher manner.

Secondly, you said that she was ‘blind’ and ‘telling lies’.

Thirdly, you wanted her to feel bad for doing it less efficiently than what you would do.

The Result:

You have lost a few seconds of your prep time. You have lost much of your nerves and energy by uttering those harsher words. You have spread all negative energies around you and around her.

It was YOU as well as HER got affected due to your outburst.

Option 3:

Firstly, you wasted your most precious, the TIME.

Secondly, you manhandled her.

Thirdly, you made her feel worse.

The Result:

You have lost a few minutes of your prep time. You have lost your nerves and mind by saying those words and pushing her to bend down. You have spread heat and negative energies around you and her that is going to linger for quite some time.

The day is going to be very bad for YOU and for HER.

Option 4:

Firstly, you didn’t waste a single second of your prep time.

Secondly, you have kept your cool. You didn’t lose your nerves and mind.
Thirdly, you knew that you were right and she was wrong. So, you waited for her to find the Dhoti on her own. And when she finds it, she will know that she was wrong. She would naturally realize the reason for your quietness so she would come back to you and say, “Sorry Sis. It was down there under all those light weight clothes. I have loaded it.”

The Result:

You were all set to leave your home for work by the time she completes the loading. Both you and your sister were happy. There were positive energies around you both and a good understanding relationship is developing between the siblings. Both your day and her day is going to be good for sure.

If you asked me what was my reaction, it was Option4.

But, I have to admit that I have chosen all the options before finding that ONLY Option 4 is the best choice to have a healthy relationship and build a better understanding between me and others. 

If you come across such situations in life, please chose Option4. Trust me, people WILL find your quietness misleading. But eventually, when the truth comes out, they WILL come back to you to apologize. All that shouting and throwing tantrums WILL only make more damage to the relationship. It might even go to the extent of breaking the relationship. So please try to calm your nerves and stay quiet.

Trust me life is neither about making money nor about building homes. Life is all about building and nurturing relationships. 

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Weekend Fun!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Once-in-a-lifetime Experience

Chennai Floods 2015 is the one of the most talked about topics in India. And if you have been following the news and updates in Social Media, you could have known that it left many people homeless.

I feel so sad for those who have lost their loved ones. I also feel sad for those who have lost their precious belongings and their home. When compared with them, I am in a much better position to manage life after floods.Though water was upto hip level inside the house, we were able to save few of our belongings. Some dresses, dinning table, most of the furniture, TV et al had to be disposed. Luckily I could save my laptop, but not my desktops. Scanner and Printer, need to be dried up under the sun. I am so grateful I could save the lives of my family members.



Cleaning wasn't very easy. I am so happy that my siblings and nephews are healthy enough to clean the entire house as well as the utensils. This is how it looks now.



Thank you so much if you were one of those who helped people affected by the floods. If not for you, we would be helpless.

I believe that this flood reminded us again that we all are ONE BIG FAMILY.

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

SPAM MAILS! RUN!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Soul Mate!

We all have greater expectations in life, in the official as well as in the personal front. Most of the times, we end up getting whatever we don't aim for. We still keep moving on striving to get what we wish and in the process some times, we get drifted like the boat in a sea storm.

Turning back and looking at the things that has happened in my life in the past ten years, it looks like a fairy tale.  I lived life differently in those ten years which I have not even dreamt of , before 2004.

Somewhere deep inside,  the search goes on and on, silently, not towards materialistic comfort, but towards a soul mate. That is what it is called as, if I am right. The search does not end that easily, it goes on and on.  It rests, may be when your life reaches the end of the road.

The wave of search travels across the borders. Find a few hearts. Then it thinks it has really found one until it realises after  a few months or years that its not the one what it looked for and then move on.

In this process there are heart breaks, sleepless nights, sorrowful days with tears rolling down and so on. Relationships are so powerful for an emotional person. It reduces the gleam in his eyes and increases the speed of ageing.

But we don't give up that easily, especially the ones who want to fight with life bravely. They keep moving on. If one door is closed, another door opens, always. Which really happens, when the eyes and other senses are kept open.

Every encounter seems to be real and long lasting but it is not. When the time comes to  move on, when the break happens, it leaves the heart with a deep scar. The heart rejoice again when it find the next soul mate, until it faces another heart break.

What do they, the soul mate, need and what does the heart that ended with this soul mate need, is always a puzzle.  The answer is yet to be found. But the beginning always looks very bright like a bright sunshine after a heavy downpour. The heart leaps in joy. But then the clouds of un certainity brings in darkness soon and the play comes to a sudden death.

Once you have started the journey of soul searching, then there is no turning back. You keep moving from one relationship to another like a migrating bird. Be in the place until the season changes and then move on to the next place. There are some native birds which do not move from place to place. They stick to a single place. Make compromises for their living.

Marriages are no longer a binding force for us, the soul searchers. We are not animals. We are not human either. We try to find a peace of mind, love, affection, care, togetherness, romance, soul partner, motherly touches etc.,  from some where or other. And that results in extra marital relationships with more complex life patterns.


Vijayan
Friend of Uma

( just a narration of what happened in my life)

Image courtesy: keawpiko from freedigitalphotos.net

A Priest's Humor!

There is an Aiyappan Temple next to my house. The priest used to give a speech to his followers everyday evening to a small group of devotees that gather at the temple. He uses a microphone. So that those who can't come to the temple can listen to his speech right from their houses to get enlightened on spirituality.

Few days back I happened to be at the open terrace of my house while he was giving his speech. I could hear him clearly. He was talking about the things that are offered to God by the devotees. I didn't understand how can he even take this topic to talk when the Almighty accepts whatever is offered to him with love.

He started like this. "Have you seen how the sweets and savories that are offered to God look like? I see the sweets and savories that are offered to God every day in this temple. And I see most of them are not well made."

Huh! Wasn't the sweets & savories meant for GOD and NOT for the priest!

And then he said,"Some of the kozhukattais doesn't even look like kozhukattais."

Now, this sounded more interesting to me.

He continued,"I find them having different sizes and shapes but not of kozhukattais."

I walked very near to the parapet wall to get a glimpse of the audience. But the roof was so tightly covered that I couldn't see either the priest or the devotees.

He said,"They also have holes on them."

This time, I smiled.

He then said,"They look exactly like the blouses that modern day ladies wear."

I didn't hear the audience laughing loud. But the priest enjoyed his own humor.

WHAT! WHAT was he talking about? Was he commenting on the kozhukattais or the ladies that come to the temple wearing such blouses or the ladies that he see on the road every day?

HOW could THIS speech enlighten the listeners on Spirituality?!!

May God bless him!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Image courtesy: Go Dakshin

Are You Sick? Do Not Consult a Pharmacist!

I am sure you will never go to a pharmacist for your next health consultation, if you are one among many who do that to avoid paying doctor fees, after reading this incident.

My neighbor had a cute dog that was the love of the whole neighborhood. Few days before, the dog fell sick. Our neighbor went to the nearby local ayurvedic pharmacist and asked for some medicine that could cure the dog. The pharmacist gave her some medicine. And my neighbor gave the medicine to the dog in the night. The next day morning wasn't a good one for the entire neighborhood. The dead dog had to be buried inside the compound wall of our neighbor. Only after a few neighbors insisted, did she reveal the name of the medicine and the pharmacist.

When the pharmacist was confronted, he accepted that he made a mistake. He said he gave the medicine that was meant for Cows.

I have seen people asking the pharmacist to suggest SOME medicine that can cure their stomach ache/ head ache/ fever/ severe cold etc. And they promptly buy the medicine that he suggest and go home. I have also seen persons asking for another alternative medicine because the one that the pharmacist suggested for them yesterday wasn't much helpful. Isn't this bad for health, in the longer run?

Lesson learned from my neighbor's experience - Pharmacists are NOT doctors. Be sensible! Be safe!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Life's Lessons!

Few years back, when the rest of my family had an argument with my father, he hurled filthy words at us. We were all so annoyed that we decided to not to do any favor for him. Because we thought he was not grateful for all the help he receive from us. He is 86 years old now.

So, the next day morning, while I was gathering clothes to load the washing machine, he brought his shirts and dhotis to me. Asked me,"Can you take my clothes also?".

I replied,"Wash them yourself." He returned to his room calmly.

After a few days, he left us, to stay in another house that he has built, five streets away. The situation at home turned around and I had to move in with my dad to help my youngest sister who moved in with him for some personal reasons, away from her husband. She has two sons, one  is 7 years old and another is 8 months old baby.

I go to visit my mom twice a week as well as to wash the clothes. Dad didn't buy a washing machine here. He had a maid to help him but fired her because she didn't follow his instructions.

Now, just because am staying with my dad and just because am enjoying his facilities in this house, I HAVE to be thankful to him. So, how can I show my gratitude? I have taken the responsibility of paying some bills. What else can I do for him? Wash his clothes? Yes! Definitely!

Now a days, whenever I go to my mom's house with all our clothes, I go to my dad's room voluntarily and ask him for his clothes that are to be washed. The first time when I asked him , he refused to give his clothes and said,"Let's see later. Not now."

The second time when I asked him, he said,"There are too many."

I said,"It's ok dad. Just give it to me."

He gave me four dhotis, three shirts, one bed sheet and more. :)

While I was loading the clothes in the washing machine at my mom's place, I thought about the twists and turns of life that keep teaching us lessons. I shared my thoughts with my younger sister, who is the sweet girl of dad's. She said,"True Sis! We ought to do our duty to our family members, even if we have differences of opinion. Because we all are inter-dependent and that is why we are a FAMILY. I have learned this through my own experience with my husband. I did exactly the same to my husband and later I realised my mistake. All we need is a balanced mind."

She also added,"But dad hasn't mentioned this to me till date. What a nice man he is!" Indeed, he is! Its been two months since I moved in with him.

Life is a great teacher. We all need to pause for a second to listen and learn from our own experiences. Have a good day!

Luv u all

Uma
Freelancer

Social Responsibility: What is it? - Part2

I live in a place called Sankar Nagar, Pammal in Chennai. It is the place where the population is growing steadily. Both the commercial as well as the residential real estate is thriving in this place. This place is promoted and developed by, Appaswamy Real Estate , a very successful real estate developer in the industry.

Way back in 1984, when we started living here, this place was surrounded by bushes and trees. It was so good to walk around the trees and bushes in the afternoons after 3pm. The breeze was cool. We didn't have to close the windows and doors to keep the dust away. There was literally no noise and air pollution. Now the concrete jungle has replaced the greenery. The inhabitants have made the place more inhospitable.

The other day while I was jogging in the street, I saw an elderly person emptying the dustbin in a rain water canal opposite to his house. I stopped and asked him,"Sir, don't you use the Exnora Service?. He looked at me puzzled. And then he smiled at me after a second and said,"No. I just throw the wastage here." I said,"You should use it, Sir. You can not keep your surroundings so dirty and the materials that you are dumping inside the water canal would only block the flow of the water during rainy season." He smiled at me and walked away. He repeated the same the next day also. I just looked at him and didn't say anything. He pretended that he didn't see me at all.

I thought people should be made aware of their own responsibility to maintain a better living condition before complaining about the maintenance of the surroundings by the government civic bodies. Now, I know that we should strictly make laws to prevent them from dumping the wastages in their own surroundings, for their own benefits. I guess it worked in the rain water harvesting project. Government announced that the electricity connection would be disconnected if the rain water harvesting is not done within the stipulated period of time.

So what should be the punishment given to those who dump the wastage on the streets and in the water canals? I would like to know your thoughts. Please post in the comments. Thanks!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Mommies Woes

As told by my youngest sister - mother of a son who is studying in second grade.

I went to pick up my son from the school yesterday evening. And this interesting incident happened.

Mommy No.1 - My son told me that the teacher asked him to complete the assignment of pasting three pictures from the categories of trees, creepers and herbs yesterday evening itself to submit today morning. I found it very difficult to get the pictures within such a short notice.

Mommy No.2 - My son told me that the teacher asked to paste  just Trees!!!!!?

Mom No.1 - Oh! But I read that in my son's home-work diary!

Son of Mom No.1 who was playing around these two mommies- I wrote it down when the teacher announced that in the class yesterday.

Mom No.1 - And he said that he has to paste three photos of each categories in one sheet of the activity notebook!

Mom No.2 - What! My son told me that he has to paste one tree in each sheets of the notebook. And that is what I have done for him.

Both Mom No.1 & Mom No. 2 were confused about the exact requirement of the assignment.

And here entered Mommy No.3 - Hey mommies!

Mom No.2 - What pictures have you chosen for your son to paste in the activity notebook?

Mom No.3 - Huh! What are you talking about? I didn't read any such activity in his home-work diary! My son didn't say anything about that.

Mom No.1 & Mom No.2 LOLed.

The school bell rang. The teacher and the kids walked out of the school together. Mom No.2 approached the teacher and asked,"What exactly was the activity assignment?"

The teacher replied,"They can choose any pictures of plants and trees to paste in the activity notebook."

I heard this as soon as the teacher finished her sentence from both Mom No.2 and Mom No.3 in chorus - but my son, didn't, just trees, anything.

The teacher replied,"I just gave them an example by mentioning trees, creepers and herbs."

Mom No.2 - "I have just pasted the pictures of Trees but one in each paper of the entire notebook"

Teacher said,"What!!!??"

Mom No.3 said,"My son didn't say anything. So I didn't do anything in his activity notebook."

Teacher said,"That's ok. You can paste the pictures today. I have returned his activity notebook to
him"

She turned towards Mom No.2 and said,"I saw your son's notebook. Don't worry. Let me see how can I help you."

Mommy No.1 is me.

We both laughed at this incident.

This is what I inferred and I told my sister, that your son have heard about Trees, Creepers and Herbs earlier, even before the teacher mentioned it in the class. So he understood the words and wrote them in the home-work diary. Son of Mom No.2 didn't understand the other two words. So he didn't mention that to his mother. Son of Mom No.3 didn't understand all the three words. So he didn't mention anything about that assignment at all.

I heard from my younger sister, mother of a 5th grader, that the teachers of upto 4th grade are supposed to write the details of home-work in the diaries of all the students. Or the teachers should write it on the class board and ask the students to copy it in their home-work diary.

TEACHERS are you listening!!

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Image courtesy: iosphere from freedigitalphotos.net

15 Reasons To Say No To Marriage!

I suggest and recommend that you don't even think about marriage, if you

1. Don't know why your elders are asking you to get married
2. Don't know why you want to get married
3. Are looking for ONLY sex in a marriage
4. Want to make way to your younger siblings. It has always been that way in our Indian culture. Elders first. 
5. Have failed in your love life and looking for a get away
6. Want to get away from some one who is behind you for many years and begging you for your love.
7. Are not sure what your sexual orientation is.
8. Don't have a job that could support you and your wife, financially
9. Are not ready yet, to accept your partner into your inner circle
10. Are not matured enough to accept your partner for what he/she is
11. Don't possess a healthy body and mind to carry the responsibilities of your family 
12. Don't have the guts to stand by and fight for your partner's space/place within your family
13. Are looking for a house keeping assistant.
14. Are in a relationship
15. Can't mend your ways to save the marriage

Is there another reason that you could add to this list. for not saying YES for a marriage proposal?

Luv u all
Uma
Freelancer

Photo by farconville